Life is Short - On Age and Ageing

Life is Short - On Age and Ageing

At the beginning of last month, I was blessed to celebrate my 65th year of living this glorious life. 

 I celebrated the day with sticky chocolate cake, loads of sprinkles ( that my Dyson vacuum cleaner sucked up from the floor with great efficiency), my delicious grandkids and tons of mess.

 Just the stuff I adore. And appropriately, I’ve been thinking a lot about ageing. Not in a morbid or miserable way by any means, so don't get me wrong. 

 While I feel great (and that is not to be taken for granted) and I’m grateful to have the gift of my health(also DEFINITELY not to be taken for granted) , I can’t help but think of the fragility of time and how fleeting it can be.

 I never really think of myself as old. Crazy and a little weird - yes, but not old.

 I’m starting to think maybe that needs to be redefined. 

 Recognizing my age allows me to look at things from a different perspective. It helps me see that in fact, the opportunities available to me now are way better than the ones I had when I was in my 20s. 

It allows me to embrace that while age may just be a number, there is no time to waste. It inspires me to fill my days with people and work that lights me up, keeps me learning, fuels my curiosity, and excites me. 

 The fact that it took me until age 64 to recognize the true gift of getting older makes me feel like we need to radically rethink the way we think about ageing.

 I feel that we deserve to believe our best days are ahead of us, and we should change the concept that ageing is something we should dread. 

So here are some of my thoughts on ageing well, and the things I hope to change in my own perception and life.

 I’m not going to be using “anti-aging” terms anymore, rather “pro-aging” Think about this term “anti-aging,”- it is totally ludicrous. Getting older is not only a fact of life, it’s a gift! We are so blessed if we get to age, and even more so if we are able to do it strong and healthy. Why on earth do we talk about it like it’s something we shouldn’t want to do, or something we should fear?

 I loved this quote by Jamie Lee Curtis who used the word “pro-aging”. She said “I want to age with intelligence and grace and verve and energy, I don’t want to hide from it, as if it’s a bad thing.”

 Now THAT is my language! That’s not to say we shouldn’t do things that make us feel (and look!) good. I want to feel and look my most vibrant. 

But my end goal isn’t to look as young as possible, for heaven's sake, I'm 64 not 24!!!!

 I’m going to try and be brave and say “yes” to things that might be new or scary No - I will NOT be bungy jumping or skydiving any time soon. But, I do want my kids to see me embrace new ideas, new identities, and new mindsets. I want them to see me try new things, even if I’m feeling a little fearful. 

 I know that saying “yes” to new things builds confidence, puts me in a beginner’s mindset, and enables me to keep learning. These things are so important, especially as we age. 

This blog was a new venture. And while I certainly do NOT fit in the mould of the “ once a week post, sell, market, and sell” blogger, it was a huge learning curve which I loved and still love doing.

 I am in the process of taking my entire professional life as a lecturer and therapist and going digital. Yup - me , who could barely send an email, and was still learning the concept of copy and paste!

 Scary? Hell yes, but I'm doing it anyway! Even trying my hand at doing journals, which hopefully will be available on Amazon soon - more about that in future posts. I can’t tell you how often I told myself I was crazy, doing all this new stuff at my age - but I said yes anyway - and it's an awesome feeling. 

 I’m working on things that bring me joy and give me purpose. 

I learned early on that to be spending much of your life doing something you didn’t want to do or don't want to be doing - leads to a lot of the crankiness that often comes with ageing.

 Life is too darn short to waste on things you don't want to do or people you don't want to be with. Sometimes, for a time, we might have no choice. But eventually that choice time comes, and it takes courage to draw a line in the sand. 

 I love what I do. Everything. The writing, the fabric artwork, and my professional work. 

I love spending time with my grandies. It reminds me of what is important. Really important. They fill me with joy, and unbridled fun. They remind me what simplicity and purity is. 

 Rocking a small warm child in the rocking chair is the most powerful meditation I know. 

 I look at my awesome kids, and know that somewhere, at sometime in all the muddle - I did something right. 

All of this feeds my creativity and keeps me curious. It makes me feel alive. 

 I’m learning about grief. The simple truth is that getting older means you will experience loss, and grief. Covid has also brought home the fragility of this thing called life, and the precious thing we called connection.

 It is important to learn how to mourn and grieve both the big losses (like the people we love) and the smaller, everyday losses (like old identities, opportunities that pass us by, and activities that maybe our ageing body limits us). 

 Grief has a way of putting things in perspective, of prompting me to reflect on who and what matters most to me. When I’m brave enough to sit with my grief rather than distract myself from it, it all becomes much simpler. It inspires me to step more fully into all of the choices I make and helps me feel more at peace with the unknowns of my future.

 One of the things about ageing is that you must face the idea of death, something none of us will get away from. People who are approaching the end of their lives have so much to teach us not only about how to face the end with courage, grace, and peace—but also how to live. 

In conclusion, I really do believe that it is possible for all of us to be able to be an example of how to age well. We are able to make good lifestyle choices, good nutrition and good fitness choices. 

 We all have the power to reframe the way we think about ageing and change the narrative so it includes more excitement, joy and possibilities, and less dread. 

 We have a unique opportunity to set an example for our children and grandchildren, and teach them that there’s a wide-open field in front of them that’s filled with possibility, no matter how old they are. 

 Age….it's just a number. Live it to the full.